Dangerous Hobbies

9 01 2012

I’m held up in my house right now. Waiting for 2012 to end because of some freak virus that turns us all into flesh eating zombies.  I’ve got gas masks and non-perishable food and a kerosene heater. Okay, not really. I’m just fucking with you. Actually, I’m lounging on the couch in my jammies. Waiting for the fridge fairies to make me dinner.  And if the fridge fairies don’t show up, maybe I can con the dog into making me some dinner. But she says she’s on strike. She says it’s not part of her job description as Guard Dog. Goddamn unions.  Who’s gonna make me dinner?

I posted a blog for the first time in months. One of my New Year’s resolutions. You know get a hobby and actually practice the one’s I already know how to do. The wife got me a screen printing kit for t-shirts and a glass bead making kit. I’m warming up to those. I might actually have to put something together. Gifts should already be preassembled. It would cut down on gift returns.

Anyway the whole blog thing didn’t go very well. I can’t write about work due to HIPAA. That’s like 50% of my life. So I wrote about my friends who have been struggling to pay their heat bill this winter. Naturally I bitched about the corporate conglomeration that turned off their heat. Bitched some more about how they were a monopoly. Fuck them. Fuck them hard. Two days later that corporate conglomeration was following me on Twitter. Hmmmm. Creepy.  I don’t have any money. Can’t afford  to get sued. And I would like to continue to heat my house this winter.  At first I changed the company’s name and all the tags.  You know, writer’s integrity. Have to support the truth. Then I started thinking about the snow and freezing pipes. I’m a pussy.  I deleted the  blog.

Bead making is looking really good right now.





Hypothermia acceptable for Michigan Residents

7 01 2012

Have you heard those heating assistance commercials on the radio? The one’s with the nice sounding lady that says there’s help available for those who have trouble paying their heating bill. Well, it’s bullshit. Just so you know. Those commercials are sponsored by a corporate conglomeration that monopolizes heat energy in Michigan. Let’s call them STD.

Imagine that you’re a 40 year old woman on disability for mental illness. Sometimes you hear voices. It’s November and you live in Michigan. It snows in Michigan and the furnace runs to keep the house warm all the way through April. You make $700/month and you live with your domestic partner. We’ll call him Al. He’s almost 60 and has filed for disability because he is no longer able to work as a mechanic. He has arthritis and can barely make a closed fist. He spent his youth fighting as a civilian soldier in the drug war in Nicaragua. Shot. Stabbed. Almost died. Al gets food stamps.

Last winter you rented a drafty house with an inefficient furnace. The heat bill got out of hand. Now it’s $2000. You tried to set up a payment plan, but STD won’t turn on the heat until it’s all paid. You only make $700/month. You dumpster dive for cans. Offer to rake yards. Dog sit for your neighbors. The government will give partial assistance for heating bills only after your portion is paid. But that doesn’t help right now. Electric heaters cost money and raise the electric bill. You sleep on the pullout couch in the living room covered by layers of blankets. It looks like a scene from Charlie & the Chocolate Factory. You worry about dying in your sleep from hypothermia or carbon monoxide fumes from the Kerosene heaters.

The gas bill is in Al’s name. He reasons that if they put the bill in your name, they should be able to turn the heat back on. After all, it’s Michigan. There is no such thing as domestic partnership. Well, things must be different in STD-land. They slid that balance over from Al’s account to your account. No problem.

Finally Al complains to the Utility Commission. STD turns on the heat. December is a good month. You get some extra money for Christmas and put it toward your heat bill. Things are looking up, you say. Not even a week after you put that extra money toward the balance, STD shuts the heat off again. It’s January.

So what are you supposed to do? You’ve got voices in your head, $700/month and a gimpy boyfriend. And no fucking heat. Honestly, who could afford to switch out their furnace to electric or wood heat? You most certainly can’t. There is no other gas supplier and STD knows that.

Happy Fucking New Year. Thanks STD.

**Based on actual events of a couple in Michigan.
***Addendum: Shortly after posting this blog, STD started following me on Twitter. Creepy. I don’t have any money. Can’t afford to get sued. And I would like to continue to heat my house this winter. Therefore, the corporate conglomeration Should Not Be Named. Names have been changed to protect all parties.





Boycott Holland

4 07 2011

If you’re not Dutch, you’re not much. I heard that phrase many times growing up. But it’s not so much a phrase as much as an attitude– one that still permeates Holland.  Only they’ve changed it a little bit. If you don’t act or think like we do, you might as well be a dried up piece of dog crap or a special interest group.  That’s what Holland City Council is saying anyway.  In a 5 to 4 vote, they decided  not to include sexual orientation and gender identity into their fair housing ordinances and equal employment opportunity policy. Jim Larkin their token gay council member resigned in protest.

http://www.mlive.com/news/grand-rapids/index.ssf/2011/06/gay_resident_resigns_from_holl.html

They said the community should decide (aka “I don’t have balls to take a stand”).  I mean seriously, aren’t they elected  officials? And then they said it would end healthy conversation over the debate. WTF? Hollanders don’t talk about stuff–especially, serious, community changing stuff. Best to leave things the way they are. Next thing you know people will want to drink and hang their laundry out on Sundays.

Grand Rapids ordinances have prohibited housing discrimination based on sexual orientation  since 1994.  That was almost 20 years ago!   I would have to say that even though Grand Rapids is larger than Holland, it’s generally a conservative city and still part of West Michigan’s ubiquitous Bible Belt.  Lansing which is seen as more of a liberal  dyke haven included sexual orientation in their ordinances in 2006. http://www.fhcmichigan.org/images/Arcus_web1.pdf    For those who work for the state of Michigan, there are employment protections based on sexual orientation. http://www.lambdalegal.org/states-regions/michigan.html  If you’re a GLBT patient in a Michigan hospital, you are protected by the PUBLIC HEALTH CODE Act 368 of 1978 which states “A patient or resident shall not be denied appropriate care on the basis of race, religion, color, national origin, sex, age, disability, marital status, sexual preference, or source of payment.”

So there are many people down on Holland right now like the angry Facebook page that is calling for a Holland boycott.  I get that. But shouldn’t this be something that is decided on the state level. How is it fair that the state of Michigan protects their GLBT  employees, but not its residents? And for those of us who work and/or live in Holland, how are we supposed to boycott? It’s not like we live in a flourishing economy where we can just sell our house tomorrow or find a job with the same pay and benefits next week. Real life doesn’t work that way. And besides, if everyone who is GLBT or GLBT friendly avoids the city, who will be the voice who speaks out? Change only comes over time and with persistence. Not by running away. Well, fuck it. I’m not going to Holland ever again. Thanks assholes! And what about gay business owners in Holland? They do exist.

Conservative Hollanders are accusing special interest groups and non-locals of trying to change their local laws.   I’m not a special interest group. I’m mostly Dutch.  I was born in Holland Hospital—the old part. Lived in Holland for 23 years.  Two of my grandparents spoke Dutch. I Dutch Danced in high school. Played in the Holland Area Youth Orchestra.  Ate at Russ’s more times than I can count.  Bought candy at The Peanut Shop. Currently, I spend 1/3 of my life in Holland. I’ve spent 23,000 hours of my life providing nursing care for Holland residents. Problem is–I’m gay. And I have all sorts of liberal, non-conformist ideas about tolerance and civil liberties in my head.  I might even been contagious. Uh, oh.

The Happiest City? Welkom? Holland has always projected the façade of Happy. It’s the “if we don’t talk about it, it doesn’t exist.”  My coworker who’s a native of Chicago described the attitude best. “You have a husband and wife. The husband wants to go to one place for vacation. The wife  wants to go to another place for vacation. But they don’t talk about it. So they go to a third place for vacation that neither one wanted to go to.” Hollanders don’t talk about things and don’t want things to change.  They want to order half a sandwich and cup of soup at Russ’s until the end of time.  And it better be the same price  and don’t expect a 15% tip. Are you crazy? A menu change would cause a cataclysmic mental melt down.

With the economy the way it is, you think Holland would be more cautious about who it snubs or pisses off. Money is money whether it comes from a Christian Reformed straight couple or a Pagan lesbian couple.  I remember when I was a kid before the
Westshore Mall. Mom would order our clothes from Sears or JC Penny’s Catalogues. Our other choice was a trip to the Woodland Mall in Grand Rapids. When I moved to Grand Rapids in 2001, the WestShore Mall was already dying. Big Boys, JJ Finnegans, Lane Bryant Spencers . . . all gone. Everyone is either closing up shop or moving back to Grand Rapids. And the Outlet Mall–last time I was there, it seemed like there were more empty shops than not.  And what about all the companies that have  disappeared?  I remember Life Savors before sugar was cheaper in Canada. Donnelly Mirrors before they sold out to  Magna. RediWhip.  Prince Corporation which I believed turned into JCI which is always laying people off. And those  are just the one’s I can remember. What’s left in Holland?  Muskegon used to be something too until all the factories shut down. The lakeshore and the Tulip Time Festival won’t save Holland.

Grand Rapids Mayor Heartwell said that including the GLBT community is a marketing decision, making a welcoming place for everyone. Notice he never says that he embraces the GLBT community. He’s not flying a rainbow flag in his front yard.  But he  believes in tolerance and a city that allows everyone to live as they are. http://www.mlive.com/business/west-michigan/index.ssf/2011/06/west_michigan_mayors_debate_be.html





Faggot Season

9 11 2010

I’m starting to wonder if Michigan is a safe place for the GLBTQ community. They’re going to ship us all to Ex-Gay concentration camps. And if we refuse, they’ll line us up in front of a firing squad.  Or maybe they’ll make a new sport out of it. Help supplement Michigan’s faltering economy. Deer Season will be replaced by Faggot Season. Hunting will be year round with semi-automatic rifles. Have to keep the population down otherwise that radical homosexual agenda and liberal thinking will spread to the rest of the God fearing population. They’ll wear rainbow camouflage and ambush us at the gay bars. Once they shoot us, they’ll cut us, gut us and jerky our meat. And they’ll wrinkle their noses a little bit as they’re chewing that lesbian tenderloin. Tastes a little gamey, they’ll say.

There was another homophobic ad in the Holland Sentinel Nov 6, 2010 Section A9. Only half a page this time. .Paid for by NOW JESUS MINISTRIES. It was titled “How sad when God’s original design is twisted!” Below that title are two gay men sitting on a bench reading a newspaper.  One man has his arm draped over the other man’s shoulder. Intimate, but not distasteful. Beneath the photo it goes on to tell us that we are violating His design and implies some sort of  punishment for those violations. In the column next to the twisted homosexuals, there is a picture of a man and woman kissing. The words “MAN WOMAN PEOPLE MAKER” appear in the picture. It’s surround by Biblical scriptures supporting the man/woman paradigm. Then in bold they urge us to call the number for a free 26 page booklet. Interestingly, the number listed is a Saugatuck number. Saugatuck is the gayest town I know besides Boy’s Town in Chicago.

Did anyone read about the creepy Assistant Attorney General for Michigan? Apparently, Andrew Shirvell (assistant AG) was stalking the student assembly president (Chris Armstrong) at U of M because he was openly gay. Shirvell was obsessively blogging about him, showing up at student assemblies and even protesting outside Armstrong’s house. WTF? These are government officials? See the interview on Anderson Cooper here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwObjKZg9Jw

I’m going to Wal-Mart to buy some hunter orange and a tree stand.  Find me some bigots and hate mongers. I hear they’re overpopulated.





Request Foods takes it back

4 08 2010

 

Check out the link. Request Food does not support homophobic ad.

http://www.hollandsentinel.com/topstories/x84682494/Request-Foods-disavows-controversial-ad





Reinstate Segregation for Gays

3 08 2010

Dear Honest Opinion who suggested that if homos don’t like Holland than they should all leave:

 Holland is my home town. No matter what, it will always be my home town. I can’t help  that I was born and raised there. Did you pick your birth place? The problem is that I ENJOY  working in Holland. Many of my coworkers are Christians. Most of my coworkers know that I’m gay. And you know what, it’s not a big deal. 

 But I think Holland is more than a religious community. It’s not some homogenous lump all subscribing to the same beliefs.  It’s comprised of all sorts of different people. Isn’t that what a community is?

You’re right it was a  Paid For Advertisement .  Free Speech is Free Speech. But had the ad targeted another group of people whether it be ethnic or religious or whatever, I’m not so sure that it would have been allowed. But sure if everyone can pay for an ad that lists myths and facts about another group of people, go for it.

I don’t think a person or group of people should have to leave a town because they disagree with one or two things.  If that were the case, we would all have leave. Isn’t that part of  democracy—trying to promote positive change to help create a community that we all want to live in? Or  maybe we should designate specific states or cities for differering political and religious beliefs.  Let’s reinstate segregation.





We’re just like you–mostly

3 08 2010

A commenter wrote that we were a bunch of social justice types itching for a fight just because we wrote a letter to the editor disagreeing with the homophobic Family Research Council & Request Foods Ad in the Holland Sentinel. This is my response:

“Those” homosexuals. “Those” gays. “Those” lesbians. We’re not some random protestors. We’ve been here all along. And mostly we’re just like you. We go to work and to school. We come home. Eat. Sleep. Shower. Shave. Do laundry. Watch a little TV. Mow the lawn. Plant a garden. Recycle. Swim at Ottawa Beach or Tunnel Park. Eat ice cream at Captain Sundae. Shop at Meijer. Donate our old junk to Goodwill. Eat pizza at Fricano’s. Take trips up north. Pay taxes. Vote. Write letters to the editor. Post comments about letters to the editor. Disagree passionately about what others may generalize about us. Because we want to defend our rights to freedom of religion, freedom of speech as well as our right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

We are your daughters, sons, fathers and mothers. We are your family.

We are your doctors, nurses, nurse aides. After you had a stroke, we took care of you. We are your engineers, carpenters, electricians. The house that you’re living in, we installed the plumbing. We are your retail store clerks and factory workers. We made your rear view mirror and assembled your expensive office chair. We are librarians, baristas, landscapers, waiters, and chefs. We prepared your rack of lamb medium rare with a pomegranate reduction. We are your bank tellers, managers, and professors.

I’m the construction worker that paved the roads you drive on. I’m the fast food worker that assembled your Big Mac. I’m the police woman that gave you a ticket on 16th street.. I’m the hot gay guy in my brown UPS uniform that delivered your package last Tuesday. I’m the farmer that grew your organic heirloom tomatoes from seed.

We are as diverse as the rest of the population.  You don’t even know who we are, because most of the time we are invisible. I’m sitting right next to you on the MAX bus. I’m your grandfather’s roommate at Freedom Village Inn. We’re invisible until we speak. After we speak, you complain that we are too loud, too radical and you want us to move to Africa where it’s really bad and we’ve got something to cry about.

But we’re everywhere, and we’re mostly just like you.